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Ready the pitchforks.

What will it take for us to go all Gaston after the Beast on these fools?

I feel so cool. I just discovered this Twitter feed dedicated to highlighting Los Angeles’s missed connections. (W for M.)

Is there a M for W version I should be aware of?

If you are anything like me, you played 5 games of beer pong last night and are pretty unfit for anything other than maybe sitting upright right now. If you are nothing like me, your life must be boring. REGARDLESS, I have a cure for the Friday morning “why isn’t it Friday afternoon yet”s (which is like the “Mondays,” but a little more insidious). The Notorious xx. Granted, this is pretty old news in the internet world, but enjoy it anyway. It’s almost lunchtime! (Pro-tip: The download link from the original blog has been removed, so if you want it, get it now, before New York Magazine also gets a take-down notice.)

Never has being a baller been so soothing.

Usually the “My LA Weekend” feature in the LA Times fills me with a seething rage (yeah, awesome, secret society at Disneyland, you know Anaheim’s not even in the same COUNTY as Los Angeles, right?) but Elisabeth Moss’s favorite weekend is actually pretty awesome-sounding.

This condom ad makes me happy because this is something I directly thing about. I love my niece. She’s fun. I like to buy toys for her. Currently on my shelf I have a Dora the Explorer necklace and a mini kit of glitter nail polish for her. I do not want a child.

via copyranter

Zoya’s Earth Day nail polish exchange is for you, my friend. Starting today, April 22nd, until June 30, you can send in a minimum 6 bottles of yucky old polish and for the price of $3.50 per bottle (shipping), Zoya will send you on a per bottle basis, a brand new Zoya polish.

So you can trade in 6 old colors (bye-bye, practically empty Sally Hansen strengthener, Wet n Wild base and top coat, nasty LA Colors polish I got for $.50 and never wore) and get 6 new colors (hello Zoya Charla, Ivanka, Mimi, Posh, Harlow and Kiki!)

I’d like to go out with you. I lose my phone all the time (or step on it, or spill sugar free Red Bull on it, or drop it out of my pocket while running to catch a bus and watching it shatter into a million pieces) so I feel like we have a lot in common.

I’ll buy you a beer.

In case you missed this gem of a story, some people with pot-infused lollipop dreams were renovating a hotel in Koreatown to be a haven for potheads. But then, very quickly, their dreams went up in a puff of smoke.

One of my favorite celebrity crazypants, Nic Cage, apparently bought a pyramid for his final resting place.

Unlike most people, who (I assume) spend Sunday nights relaxing and getting ready for work the next day, I spend mine becoming needlessly outraged about mindless TV trying to sell itself as something else. And then I wonder why I am exhausted on Monday morning. BUT ANYWAY. I tweeted about finding Undercover Boss problematic, and then this happened. If you don’t know about this show, well, good for you. You’re probably a productive member of society. Continue Reading »