Posted in I'm A Consumer Whore (And How!), tagged birth control, condoms, copyranter, practical ads, zero babies on April 23, 2010| Leave a Comment »
This condom ad makes me happy because this is something I directly thing about. I love my niece. She’s fun. I like to buy toys for her. Currently on my shelf I have a Dora the Explorer necklace and a mini kit of glitter nail polish for her. I do not want a child.
via copyranter
Posted in I'm A Consumer Whore (And How!), tagged awesome, deals, earth day, fyi, nail polish, random, shipping and handling, zoya on April 22, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Zoya’s Earth Day nail polish exchange is for you, my friend. Starting today, April 22nd, until June 30, you can send in a minimum 6 bottles of yucky old polish and for the price of $3.50 per bottle (shipping), Zoya will send you on a per bottle basis, a brand new Zoya polish.
So you can trade in 6 old colors (bye-bye, practically empty Sally Hansen strengthener, Wet n Wild base and top coat, nasty LA Colors polish I got for $.50 and never wore) and get 6 new colors (hello Zoya Charla, Ivanka, Mimi, Posh, Harlow and Kiki!)
Posted in I'm A Consumer Whore (And How!), tagged 2010, effective advertisements, I cried like a little girl the first time I saw this, kids, mad men, olympics, P&G, pretend Don Draper came up with this to sell you toothpaste, proud sponsors of moms, sappy, sincerity, sports, tear jerkers, the glory of sports, Vancouver, Winter Olympics on February 17, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Posted in I'm A Consumer Whore (And How!), tagged barbie, barbie's careers, careers, computer engineer, computer engineering, computers, DNS, engineer, engineering, have you tried google yet?, have you tried turning it off and then on again?, I CAN FIX COMPUTERS, sparkly pink laptop, you can input into my content field anyday on February 12, 2010| 3 Comments »
Barbie got a new career today! She is now a Computer Engineer!! I applaud Barbie for entering this field, which tends to be heavily dominated by men. Great example for young girls!
A BLUETOOTH HEADSET!!?? REALLY?!?!?
Not that I think women engineers are homely or can’t dress, but Barbie’s “computer engineer” outfit is just ridiculous. Leggings and a shirt that has a binary background? HER JACKET HAS A CIRCUIT BOARD PATTERN FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE. What am I, as a woman working in Information Technology, supposed to think of this? Is this telling me to wear “DNS: Its a Real Bind” shirts to get respect?
Though, not gonna lie, I kind of want a sparkly laptop.
Posted in I'm A Consumer Whore (And How!), tagged and then you DIE, arsenic and lace, California, death and mayhem, don't ask what's in the chocolate, gifts, lead, oops, recalls, relationship, somewhat relevant, somewhat topical, Target, toyota, Valentine's Day on February 9, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Beware suitors bearing lead-filled gifts. Pun intended.
Posted in I'm A Consumer Whore (And How!) on December 29, 2009| Leave a Comment »
Intended purchases for shopping trip: dish soap.
Things I ended up buying at The 99 Cent Store in MacArthur Park:
1) Ajax Lime Scented Dish Soap
2) Soft Soap Aloe Vera Hand Soap Refill
3) Disney Princesses Giant The Princess and the Frog retractable pen
4) Disney Princesses The Princess and the Frog mechanical pencils (pack of five)
5) Revlon Sugar Sugar Lip Topping in Lemon Drop
6) L’Oreal High Intensity Pigment Cream Shadow Paint
Verdict: I basically spent six dollars and got a few things I need and some things that were clearly impulse buys. The interesting thing about the 99 Cent Store is that they tend to carry a lot of discontinued products or things that ordinary people didn’t buy.
The Revlon Sugar Sugar Lip Topping was apparently a limited edition product and reviews of it on the internet seem pretty mixed. I like it, mostly because of middle school glitter nostalgia. If you’re not careful with the applicator, it does look like you ate a sugar donut using only your lips, however, which can be problematic.
The best thing about the Revlon Sugar Sugar lip topping besides the absolutely stupid name that the product has and the interesting packaging is the commercial I found while Googling “Revlon Sugar Sugar Lip Topping.”
The worst thing is it is not flavored like a lemon drop, which is what I thought might be the case.
Posted in I'm A Consumer Whore (And How!), tagged awkward ads, consumer whores, Disney Princesses, fun with sales pitches, fun with sexism, missing the point, one step forward two steps back, relationshit, the house of mouse, The Princess and the Frog, wtf on December 27, 2009| Leave a Comment »
Whoever is in charge of writing the copy describing the Disney Store merchandise clearly missed the point of The Princess and the Frog. Or maybe they didn’t watch it.
Actual text from the description of the Create-Your-Own Princess Tiana Watch for Girls on the Disney Store website:
Princess Tiana always makes time for kissing frogs if it means finding her prince.
Whoops. Um, random Disney employee, were we watching the same movie?
Quick, let’s consult the trailer.
Okay. Yeah. This movie. Now, I could be wrong, but the movie I saw featured a Tiana rather reluctant to kiss a frog. In fact, he had to bribe her with money (which she wanted to finance her dream of opening a restaurant) to get her to kiss him.
She falls in love with him only after getting to know him as a frog and in spite of the fact that he’s a Prince and kind of a lazy playboy.
Either way, the alarming way that a heartwarming tale of how hardwork, a dream and a little bit of love can give you what you need in life gets shoehorned into the world’s most awkward pitch for changeable watches is a lesson in how the Disney Princesses brand operates: someday your prince will come, if you buy this pink watch. (Not that I haven’t spent most of December trying to convince my parents and friends I should get a Tiana Barbie for Christmas.)
(The peppers are just to hide my tabs so you don’t see how I was looking at Vice Magazine’s DOs and DON’Ts.)
Screenshot after the jump: (more…)
Posted in I'm A Consumer Whore (And How!), Seasonal, Uncategorized, tagged christmas, Madness, quotable, Sparta, Target, tis the motherfucking season, YouTubez on December 21, 2009| Leave a Comment »
This afternoon, I decided to go spread a little holiday cheer by inconveniencing people at Target. Well, I didn’t really bother anyone, I just like to walk around a listen to people gripe about needing to get a gift for Aunt So-And-So or complaining about how they are out of Nightmare Before Christmas. There is just something about listening to that drivel that really makes you realize the beauty of giving.
The highlight of today’s Target Walkabout:
Husband: I don’t know what a bed-in-a-bag is!
Wife: IT IS PRETTY SELF EXPLANATORY! *walks off*
So Happy Holidays folks. Enjoy the madness and the fruit cakes!
Posted in I'm A Consumer Whore (And How!), tagged American Apparel, american apparel rummage sale, consumer whore, i am a fucking moron, i lost my phone because i am a fucking moron, i'm dreaming of an eighty degree christmas, immigration reform, neon, nokia phone, spandex, stuff hipsters like, things with neon, tis the mother fucking season on December 19, 2009| 4 Comments »
Christmas in Southern California is one of those terrible, strange things. The internet claims today’s high was 77 degrees. The internet didn’t stand for an hour and a half in line to get into American Apparel’s Factory Rummage Sale.
This has been a very awful day. Listicle of the things I did wrong today!
1) Got lost in the Flower District trying to find 747 Warehouse St.
2) Waited in a 2 hour line.
3) Lost my phone while trying on spandex, neon and sparkly hipster clothes.
4) Left after several hours of bugging security to see if anyone turned in my phone. (Spoiler: they didn’t.)
5) Listened to the security guard who told me that “Some people can be cruel.”
6) Gave up, went to McDonalds, drank like 3 cups of lemonade.
7) Went to the T-Mobile store on Wilshire and got a new SIM card and deactivated the other.
8 ) Went to the T-Mobile store on Santa Monica and Western to buy a green phone made of recycled plastic.
9) Before entering the second T-Mobile store, getting a bloody nose and having a homeless man get napkins for me from a fruit vendor.
10) Buy new phone.
List of things I did right today:
1) Went to scoops.
2) Bought a shirt with “Hh” on it.
Aside from the dramatic LOSS OF MY PHONE, the American Apparel sale was actually not that bad. The crowd was an interesting mix of hipster douche, regular hipster and people who probably work at the factory.
The crowd was obscene and the line moved slowly, but American Apparel staff was good about providing people with itty bitty cups of water. At about noon, the ATM went out, but if you couldn’t plan ahead and bring cash, that’s kind of a “you’re bad.”
The sale is actually still going on until 8 and they keep bringing out new stuff, so if you truly MUST have a sparkly pink pair of leggings, please do rush on over to the Warehouse District. It’s basically the corner of Alameda and 7th.
And if you see a black and red Nokia phone while you’re there, please let me know!
Young Ladies of Quality 