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Archive for the ‘I'm A Consumer Whore (And How!)’ Category

This condom ad makes me happy because this is something I directly thing about. I love my niece. She’s fun. I like to buy toys for her. Currently on my shelf I have a Dora the Explorer necklace and a mini kit of glitter nail polish for her. I do not want a child.

via copyranter

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Zoya’s Earth Day nail polish exchange is for you, my friend. Starting today, April 22nd, until June 30, you can send in a minimum 6 bottles of yucky old polish and for the price of $3.50 per bottle (shipping), Zoya will send you on a per bottle basis, a brand new Zoya polish.

So you can trade in 6 old colors (bye-bye, practically empty Sally Hansen strengthener, Wet n Wild base and top coat, nasty LA Colors polish I got for $.50 and never wore) and get 6 new colors (hello Zoya Charla, Ivanka, Mimi, Posh, Harlow and Kiki!)

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If this commercial doesn’t make you tear up a bit, you clearly have no soul.

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Barbie got a new career today! She is now a Computer Engineer!! I applaud Barbie for entering this field, which tends to be heavily dominated by men. Great example for young girls!

A BLUETOOTH HEADSET!!?? REALLY?!?!?

Not that I think women engineers are homely or can’t dress, but Barbie’s “computer engineer” outfit is just ridiculous. Leggings and a shirt that has a binary background? HER JACKET HAS A¬†CIRCUIT¬†BOARD PATTERN FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE. What am I, as a woman working in Information Technology, supposed to think of this? Is this telling me to wear “DNS: Its a Real Bind” shirts to get respect?

Though, not gonna lie, I kind of want a sparkly laptop.

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Beware suitors bearing lead-filled gifts. Pun intended.

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Intended purchases for shopping trip: dish soap.

Things I ended up buying at The 99 Cent Store in MacArthur Park:

1) Ajax Lime Scented Dish Soap
2) Soft Soap Aloe Vera Hand Soap Refill
3) Disney Princesses Giant The Princess and the Frog retractable pen
4) Disney Princesses The Princess and the Frog mechanical pencils (pack of five)
5) Revlon Sugar Sugar Lip Topping in Lemon Drop
6) L’Oreal High Intensity Pigment Cream Shadow Paint

Verdict: I basically spent six dollars and got a few things I need and some things that were clearly impulse buys. The interesting thing about the 99 Cent Store is that they tend to carry a lot of discontinued products or things that ordinary people didn’t buy.

The Revlon Sugar Sugar Lip Topping was apparently a limited edition product and reviews of it on the internet seem pretty mixed. I like it, mostly because of middle school glitter nostalgia. If you’re not careful with the applicator, it does look like you ate a sugar donut using only your lips, however, which can be problematic.

The best thing about the Revlon Sugar Sugar lip topping besides the absolutely stupid name that the product has and the interesting packaging is the commercial I found while Googling “Revlon Sugar Sugar Lip Topping.”

The worst thing is it is not flavored like a lemon drop, which is what I thought might be the case.

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I know I said I wanted to open a restaurant, but what I really meant was a boyfriend and a fucking swatch.Whoever is in charge of writing the copy describing the Disney Store merchandise clearly missed the point of The Princess and the Frog. Or maybe they didn’t watch it.

Actual text from the description of the Create-Your-Own Princess Tiana Watch for Girls on the Disney Store website:

Princess Tiana always makes time for kissing frogs if it means finding her prince.

Whoops. Um, random Disney employee, were we watching the same movie?

Quick, let’s consult the trailer.

Okay. Yeah. This movie. Now, I could be wrong, but the movie I saw featured a Tiana rather reluctant to kiss a frog. In fact, he had to bribe her with money (which she wanted to finance her dream of opening a restaurant) to get her to kiss him.

She falls in love with him only after getting to know him as a frog and in spite of the fact that he’s a Prince and kind of a lazy playboy.

Either way, the alarming way that a heartwarming tale of how hardwork, a dream and a little bit of love can give you what you need in life gets shoehorned into the world’s most awkward pitch for changeable watches is a lesson in how the Disney Princesses brand operates: someday your prince will come, if you buy this pink watch. (Not that I haven’t spent most of December trying to convince my parents and friends I should get a Tiana Barbie for Christmas.)

(The peppers are just to hide my tabs so you don’t see how I was looking at Vice Magazine’s DOs and DON’Ts.)

Screenshot after the jump: (more…)

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