Posts Tagged ‘relationshit’

Enjoy this singularly horrifying image of the most awkward Valentine’s Day quiz question on a juke box taken at an undisclosed location in Echo Park.

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Am I the only one wondering if this poster for the movie Valentine’s Day and the release date of 2/12/2010 being EVERYWHERE all around the country is going to give people problems?this movie is going to be fucking awful

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I know I said I wanted to open a restaurant, but what I really meant was a boyfriend and a fucking swatch.Whoever is in charge of writing the copy describing the Disney Store merchandise clearly missed the point of The Princess and the Frog. Or maybe they didn’t watch it.

Actual text from the description of the Create-Your-Own Princess Tiana Watch for Girls on the Disney Store website:

Princess Tiana always makes time for kissing frogs if it means finding her prince.

Whoops. Um, random Disney employee, were we watching the same movie?

Quick, let’s consult the trailer.

Okay. Yeah. This movie. Now, I could be wrong, but the movie I saw featured a Tiana rather reluctant to kiss a frog. In fact, he had to bribe her with money (which she wanted to finance her dream of opening a restaurant) to get her to kiss him.

She falls in love with him only after getting to know him as a frog and in spite of the fact that he’s a Prince and kind of a lazy playboy.

Either way, the alarming way that a heartwarming tale of how hardwork, a dream and a little bit of love can give you what you need in life gets shoehorned into the world’s most awkward pitch for changeable watches is a lesson in how the Disney Princesses brand operates: someday your prince will come, if you buy this pink watch. (Not that I haven’t spent most of December trying to convince my parents and friends I should get a Tiana Barbie for Christmas.)

(The peppers are just to hide my tabs so you don’t see how I was looking at Vice Magazine’s DOs and DON’Ts.)

Screenshot after the jump: (more…)

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We all have one or at least something close to one… The Deadbeat Uncle. The guy that couldn’t quite get it right. He drinks a little too much, gambles a little too often and never lives up to his potential. He probably married a great girl, treated her poorly, knocked her up and left. He has pennies in his bank account, none of which go to the kids, but dammit, he is family. And that means he’ll be needing a gift this year so, how about one of these treasures this holiday season?

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