Happy Boxing Day

Today is Boxing Day, non-U.S. Americans. Enjoy your cold cuts.

Read Full Post »

Yuletide Greetings

Read Full Post »

Sex and the City 2: Recession, what recession?

God, don’t they know cupcakes are SO over?

Read Full Post »

A Brief History of Cats and Roombas

There are quite a few reasons why I love cats on the internet:

1. They can’t speak proper English, apparently.
2. I don’t have to deal with cats in real life.
3. Japanese people post videos of cats being downright silly.

And today, my love of “cats+internet=awesome” was renewed with another Cat Meets Roomba video.

There have been a great deal of these throughout the history of the great distraction known as the internet and for a brief introduction of Cats and Roombas check after the jump.

Read Full Post »

A Lazy Walk Through Sparta

This afternoon, I decided to go spread a little holiday cheer by inconveniencing people at Target. Well, I didn’t really bother anyone, I just like to walk around a listen to people gripe about needing to get a gift for Aunt So-And-So or complaining about how they are out of Nightmare Before Christmas. There is just something about listening to that drivel that really makes you realize the beauty of giving.

The highlight of today’s Target Walkabout:

Husband: I don’t know what a bed-in-a-bag is!
Wife: IT IS PRETTY SELF EXPLANATORY! *walks off*

So Happy Holidays folks. Enjoy the madness and the fruit cakes!

Read Full Post »

Holiday gifts for the people you can’t stand: your slightly racist grandmother.

Your grandmother is from a different time. Things were simpler in the olden days. Men were men, women were women, and people thought it was okay to keep entire ethnic groups from voting. Now grandma says uncomfortable things during family gatherings and your sister can’t bring her boyfriend to Christmas. This year, give your grandmother some sensitivity training, because waiting for her to die is clearly not the answer.

Hey, you’re not the only one with this problem. There’s even a TV Trope for this. (I apologize for the next three hours of your life being stolen away from you by that link.)

You can listen to this song on repeat and then peruse this handy gift guide for your next uncomfortable family gathering.

This content requires Flash Player 8 or higher.

Grandma’s from a different era?

Powered by ThisNext. Get Widget!

Read Full Post »

Holiday Gifts for the People You Can’t Stand All Year: Your 20-Something Stepmother

Dear old dad decided to get remarried, and, like any good man in his mid-life crisis stage, he went for a woman who was a bit younger. Okay, a lot younger. He has assured you that you and Mindy will be the best of friends, since you both like the same things (diamonds, alcohol) and are the same age! Gee thanks, Dad, glad you have my best interests at heart. Shopping for her should be an absolute joy. Here are some suggestions, just in case that new Lexus doesn’t arrive in time.

This content requires Flash Player 8 or higher.

Dad Married A 20 Something!

Powered by ThisNext. Get Widget!

Read Full Post »

Holiday Gifts for the People You Can’t Stand All Year: Your “Runaway” Cousin

There is one in every family. That cousin (or similar relative) that is always angry and threatening to blow this joint. They are talking about selling all their stuff, running out and being one with the open road. Well, it is time to stop trying to talk them out of such shenanigans. Embrace their goals! You can stop reminding them about how good they have it, how much you all love them and how you would cry if they ever left. Screw that noise – you have to set them free and here are the gifts to get them on their way out the door.

Your Cousin Probably Wants to Run Away

Powered by ThisNext. Get Widget!

Read Full Post »

Rest in Peace, Brittany Murphy

As usual, TMZ broke the story.

Read Full Post »

American Apparel Rummage Sale: Never Again

Christmas in Southern California is one of those terrible, strange things. The internet claims today’s high was 77 degrees. The internet didn’t stand for an hour and a half in line to get into American Apparel’s Factory Rummage Sale.

This has been a very awful day. Listicle of the things I did wrong today!

1) Got lost in the Flower District trying to find 747 Warehouse St.
2) Waited in a 2 hour line.
3) Lost my phone while trying on spandex, neon and sparkly hipster clothes.
4) Left after several hours of bugging security to see if anyone turned in my phone. (Spoiler: they didn’t.)
5) Listened to the security guard who told me that “Some people can be cruel.”
6) Gave up, went to McDonalds, drank like 3 cups of lemonade.
7) Went to the T-Mobile store on Wilshire and got a new SIM card and deactivated the other.
8 ) Went to the T-Mobile store on Santa Monica and Western to buy a green phone made of recycled plastic.
9) Before entering the second T-Mobile store, getting a bloody nose and having a homeless man get napkins for me from a fruit vendor.
10) Buy new phone.

List of things I did right today:

1) Went to scoops.
2) Bought a shirt with “Hh” on it.

Aside from the dramatic LOSS OF MY PHONE, the American Apparel sale was actually not that bad. The crowd was an interesting mix of hipster douche, regular hipster and people who probably work at the factory.

The crowd was obscene and the line moved slowly, but American Apparel staff was good about providing people with itty bitty cups of water. At about noon, the ATM went out, but if you couldn’t plan ahead and bring cash, that’s kind of a “you’re bad.”

The sale is actually still going on until 8 and they keep bringing out new stuff, so if you truly MUST have a sparkly pink pair of leggings, please do rush on over to the Warehouse District. It’s basically the corner of Alameda and 7th.

And if you see a black and red Nokia phone while you’re there, please let me know!

Read Full Post »